That awkward phase of becoming. I know I want to be…an artist, an entrepreneur – fill in the blank with your own desire of becoming. But know this: knowing whom you want to become is one thing, transforming into that person is quite another.
The self-help books instruct you to just go do it. You want it? Go do it. Develop that habit. Find someone modeling what you want to do and do it. Yeah. Well. Not quite.
Few people tell you that becoming the person you want to be means you have to go through an awkward in-between phase. Starting is actually rather easy. Too often, your repeated starts, attempts, trials, do-it-again-and-again efforts of the in-between phase are glossed over. This is the awkward phase of becoming; the period of time when your attempts made are just that, attempts made.
I think this awkward phase of becoming is not unlike the gangly phase of preteens and teenagers with their legs and arms too long compared to their torsos. Teenagers try to be all grown up but they vacillate between behaving childishly and being the responsible adult they want to be. Teenagers are in the practice of adulting.
Is that a word?! Adulting?
Definition of adulting: the practice of being an adult. Transitioning from a teenager into an adult requires repeated attempts to make better decisions, and gain precision and experience in verbalizing thoughts and taking action.
Most teenagers take years to become an adult. Let’s apply that logic to transformation.
We’ve been conditioned to think in terms of either-or; it’s either total success or total failure. But it’s not true. It’s never all white or all black.
Your failed attempts at success are not failures!
Consider your determined, thoughtful efforts as successes even when those efforts don’t reach desired results. It is your ability to think and make decisions from the viewpoint of the person you want to become that puts you in the awkward phase of becoming. It means that you are practicing repeatedly, making lots of efforts.
The practice of becoming is becoming the practice – sooner or later things will change. That awkward becoming phase is the time when things are different than they used to be but have not yet formed into the fullness of the desired change.
What are you hoping? Are you “adulting” in your practice of becoming? Are you behaving as the person you desire to be? Do you find yourself making repeated attempt after repeated attempt in your pursuit to change? Good for you! Eventually, the fullness of becoming will be yours.
I’d love to hear what you are doing and cheer you on in your transformation. Write a note in the comment section or send me an email.